Indigo Children...

...can bite my chubby white ass. This appears to be a term invented by hippies to describe their whacked-out offspring. If you're unenlightened (yes, that is a dig), read on:

INDIGO CHILDREN

• Have strong self esteem, connection to source

• Know they belong here until they are told otherwise

• Have an obvious sense of self

• Have difficulty with discipline and authority

• Refuse to follow orders or directions

• Find it torture to waiting in lines, lack patience

• Get frustrated by ritual-oriented systems that require little creativity

• Often see better ways of doing thing at home and at school

• Are mostly nonconformists

• Do not respond to guilt trips, want good reasons

• Get bored rather easily with assigned tasks

• Are rather creative

• Are easily distractible, can do many things at once

• Display strong intuition

• Have strong empathy for others or NO empathy

• Develop abstract thinking very young

• Are gifted and/or talented, highly intelligent

• Are often identified or suspected of having ADD or ADHD, but can focus when they want to

• Are talented daydreamers and visionaries

• Have very old, deep, wise looking eyes

• Have spiritual intelligence and/or psychic skills

• Often express anger outwardly rather than inwardly and may have trouble with rage

• Need our support to discover themselves

• Are here to change the world - to help us live in greater harmony and peace with one another and to raise the vibration of the planet

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Yes, that's right. All of those kids with anger issues and ADHD who are needy and unempathetic, easily bored and distractible, are impatient and have problems with authority--they're SPECIAL. They are teaching us to live in harmony by driving us up the fucking wall. I can only assume "oneness" in this sense means my head will live in oneness with the brick wall next to my desk at least once a day. If they're special, why are there so goddamn many of them?

Look, folks. I had a label or two slapped on me in my day, and I've had the dubious pleasure of having met a whole lot of people in my travels across this country. I have met some amazing people, some very memorable people. I have friends who could or have taken human lives. (You know who you are.) I have friends who are so rocket-science brilliant that they couldn't hold a real conversation with mere mortals. (You are oblivious and don't know who you are.) I know people with the strangest job titles ever: leather armor maker, brewster, gemologist, lithographer. We all went to school, we got through in our various ways. If we were Indigo Children, we damn sure didn't know it. And this is doubtless a bias from being a teacher, but I'm much more prepared to reward a child who treats me with respect and makes an effort to do the project than one who is bored, impatient, and defiant. I can tell you without a doubt that the oppositional-defiant, mean, and rage-filled children that fill my days with stress and woe are NOT gifted little Buddhas-to-be; they are unstructured, chemically imbalanced kids with crack-addled parents who watch South Park and play extremely violent video games.

The irritating part is that I stumbled across this dreck while I was looking for age-appropriate creativity exercises for my (non-indigo) students to do when they finish their projects. According to the website, as many of 95% of children born after 1999 are considered "indigo". I would say that's an environmental problem, not the dawning of an age of enlightenment. It's something in the Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee or the dozens of inoculations routinely pumped into most infants (gee, about 95% of them).