Anxiety redux

Never have I felt such anxiety about going back to school. I dread it. Usually I'm feeling unrealistically optimistic by this time, and it's not shattered until the first or second week. Granted, I am not feeling particularly productive as of late; a little structure would certainly behoove me...but I almost wish my Bitter Half would receive word that they're expediting his application and we'll have to move ASAP. I'd like to settle in somewhere and just act like I never was a teacher, maybe get a job in a totally unrelated field or just do art full time. No one would ever have to know that I taught and thus wouldn't bug me to Get Involved with the youth of the community. Hell, if I move, I could just make up a background. I'm sure people do it all the time, but I never had the desire (or the chutzpah) to attempt it.

Mmm, think of it...I wouldn't have to look conservative to be considered upstanding enough to teach...I could be seen walking into a bar and no one would flinch...I could be heard uttering an obscenity and it wouldn't make the local gossip rounds...I could get a visible tattoo. Bliss.